How I Spent the Bank Holiday Weekend. And Tuesday.

                It was yet another Bank Holiday weekend in England so we were once again faced with a long-weekend. Unlike Easter Weekend, however, we found ourselves in the position of actually having things to do every day.                

                Friday marked our one month anniversary of being in London. Things haven’t worked out exactly as planned. We are both still unemployed. Contrary to everyone’s opinions in Canada, it isn’t because there are no jobs available. There are thousands of new jobs listed every day. The issue is that the competition is fierce and we lack experience. Who knew that getting a university degree would actually hurt your employment chances? But Friday was also the day of Sarah’s first job interview. I am still an unemployed couch hobo so I went down to Kew with her. We left ridiculously early but it was a good thing because there was a lot more walking involved than we had originally thought. I can now say I’ve walked the entire exterior of Kew Gardens. Originally I was just going to hang out at a pub while Sarah had her hour-long interview, but the pub next door was closed. Fortunately there was a shop across the street called Ceramic Café. It’s one of those shops where you can paint pottery. I love doing that so I painted a butterfly jewelry box while I waited.

                On Saturday we planned to see the new Seth Rogen movie, Bad Neighbours. We originally meant to attend the 1:00pm showing but we were bequeathed with the delightful news the trains weren’t running. We were instructed to wait at a bus stop for a replacement service. After about ten minutes of waiting with a growing crowd but no sign of the bus, I remembered there was a neighborhood bus that took us exactly where we needed to go. The only problem? It would take an hour to get there, which meant we would be seeing a later screening. Then the bus wouldn’t go past the second last stop as the driver had gone over their allowed driving time. Fortunately, the very first time we’d seen a movie there we had taken the tube to Canada Water, so we knew the walk. Had we not, though? We would have been super lost and definitely would have missed the movie. For the record, Bad Neighbours was hilarious. We then had to take another hour-long bus ride back. Doing two hour-long bus rides really makes me appreciate the ten minute train rides it usually is. Never not work again, trains.

                Of course, that wasn’t going to happen. At least I knew in advance the trains would be down on Sunday. We planned to go to Shake Shack and take pictures of us crying over burgers. Because we love this actor Dane Dehaan and he was on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon telling a story about a time when he hadn’t had a burger in four months and then started crying in a restaurant. So, with Sarah and I being as weird as we are, we were totally going to replicate that. The bus was only supposed to take thirty minutes to get to Covent Garden but it took more like an hour. Once again, the driver was going over their time. It didn’t affect us at all but there were people on the bus absolutely freaking out, saying it was because she was driving too slow. The bus ride was slow, yes, but from what I could tell it was because there was loads of traffic, not anything to do with her. So we had our delicious burgers from Shake Shack and we took our crying pictures nobody understands and then we went to the British Museum (www.britishmuseum.org). It was a quick walk there from Covent Garden. We didn’t stay there very long. The museum is huge and it was a weekend, which meant tourists everywhere. Especially Asian tourists who just stand around in huge groups taking pictures of literally everything. We definitely went around the back side of the Rosetta Stone and made funny faces as people were taking pictures. Photobombing is fun. We kind of sped-walked through the museum. We saw the Egyptian, Mexico and mummy exhibits and some cool exhibit about money. But ultimately we decided to leave. We had a quick drink at a pub before hopping back on the bus to head back to the flat.

                Monday was an unexpectedly awesome day. Last week when we were in Liverpool I saw on Facebook that one of my favorite music artists, Ed Sheeran, was playing secret shows on Monday. I had made a joke to Sarah about how wouldn’t it be cool if we could go but there’s no way we will get tickets. Then I kind of forgot about the whole thing. Friday afternoon Sarah was sleeping on the couch when my phone went off: a twitter notification with the link to the tickets. I clicked it and saw they were only £6. Without even asking Sarah I grabbed two tickets. When she woke up twenty minutes later I told her she owed me money…because we were going to an Ed Sheeran secret show Monday afternoon.

                So Monday arrived. The secret show is to promote his new album, Multiply. The premise of his secret shows was exactly that. He played a thirty minute gig in Ipswich at 11:30am, followed by an hour long show in London at 4:00pm, followed by a full concert in Dublin at 9:30pm. The doors for the venue, Koko, were to open at 2:00pm. Sarah and I headed down there early to grab some Nando’s before the show. We got to the venue around 1:30pm and the line was huge. This was my fifth time seeing Ed Sheeran and every time has been completely different. The first show was in Phoenix last February. He was just starting to get famous but had already announced his tour and ticket prices. I figured paying $25 to see him in a smallish venue was fair. The next two times were in Edmonton where he opened for Taylor Swift. I met him at the second concert, which was amazing. The most recent show was in New York, when he played to a sell-out crowd at Madison Square Gardens. I’d gone to that one because I thought it was really cool to be able to say I saw him for $25 at the beginning of the year and at MSG at the end of it. And now here I was, having paid £6 to see him play in front of about 500 people. It was insane. I have now seen him more than any other musical artist with the exception of Alexisonfire. He’s catching up to them. But what was really cool was the crowd. For Phoenix and New York City it was 80% people who like The A-Team and nothing else and for the Taylor Swift shows it was all girls who liked Taylor Swift. But this crowd was different. It was 80% diehard fans, like myself. Lots of us had t-shirts from the different shows we had attended all over the world. People were sharing stories about the different concerts. It was really cool to be surrounded by people as passionate about the music as myself.

                The doors were supposed to be opened at 2:00pm but we actually didn’t get in until more like 2:45pm. We grabbed some drinks and checked out the t-shirts, which were disappointing. I definitely would have picked one up if it had the date on it. But I really could care less about a generic t-shirt. I’m only shelling out money if it’s got the actual event on it. We could have been halfway to the stage but I like to be able to move, so we found a pole in the middle of the room and hung out there. It worked out perfectly because nobody tried to take our spot, we could take turns leaving to grab drinks, and we had a perfect view of the stage. We also know where to look in all the pictures his manager posts of the audience.

                Ed came on promptly at 4:00pm with a shortened version of my absolute favorite song of his, You Need Me I Don’t Need You. You want to appreciate his talent? Watch a live version of that song. I’ve seen him play a twenty minute version before but obviously that wasn’t going to happen if he only had an hour. He then moved on to Lego House followed by one of his new songs. He then played I See Fire from The Hobbit movie, which I was really hoping he would play. I recorded it on my phone because artists don’t tend to play their movie songs very often in concert. He then played what is so far my favorite song on his new album, One (the album drops June 23^rd). Sarah had run to grab drinks during that song and all of a sudden he started playing her favorite song, Drunk. This was Sarah’s third time seeing him live, but the first by himself (she came to the Taylor Swift shows with me). He never played that song with Taylor. I started freaking out and she made it back just in time. He then played Give Me Love, which he always used to open his shows with. I love hearing that live because he changes the way he sings the course and it’s just heaven in my ears. He next played The A-Team, obviously, and finished the hour with his first single from the new album, Sing. I don’t really like that song. It sounds very Justin Timberlake-y and like he’s trying to get his music played at nightclubs. He’s still crazy talented, though. He is probably the best artist to see live. His albums are great but him live is just insane and indescribable.

                The show took exactly one hour, just as Ed said it would. It was still definitely worth £6. I’d pay twice that just for one song. He’s playing the O2 arena in October so I’ll definitely see one of those shows. Or all four. We’ll see. After the show we went to a pub to grab some food but the kitchen closed at 6:00pm. How is that a thing? The kitchen should be opening at that time, not closing. Ultimately we ended up back at Nando’s because we have a problem.

                After a lazy Tuesday morning we had to head back to Kew to pick up my pottery. It’s not the greatest work of art in the history of the universe but it will do for something I hadn’t been planning on doing in the first place. The walk was a lot hotter than anticipated and I ended up getting heat exhaustion because I’m awesome like that. It was actually kind of freaky. I thought I was just hungry but when I tried to get off the train at Waterloo I had the shakes. We ran in to a Costa Coffee at the station and I sat in the shade and had a drink and a muffin. It worked and we were able to continue on with our day.

                We were seeing a play at The Globe that night so we decided to kill the hours before then exploring the South Bank. We first walked through the Royal Festival Hall. It was very posh and I bet it’s gorgeous when there are events. There are six levels to explore but it was quite intimidating. We couldn’t really tell where we were allowed to be. Also, there are bars literally every few feet, which I found amusing. Then we found the greatest place ever, the British Film Institute (www.bfi.org.uk). I am seriously considering a membership, because it’s only £40 and you can go to all sorts of screenings and get tickets to the London Film Festival in the fall and they have all sorts of monthly members-only events. For example, next month there is someone coming in to do a lecture before a screening of 2001: A Spacey Odyssey. The second I have a job and am making money I am getting this membership. The building is really cool. There’s a couple bars and several screening rooms. There is a library full of film literature. I really want to check it out and see how much of it I had to read in school. It’s free! There’s also their mediatheque room. They have thousands of film titles from the National Archive that you can watch. FOR FREE. You can go every single day but you can’t stay longer than two hours. It’s pretty much become my goal to watch every single title. We got a ticket for half an hour so we could check it out and I put on 24 Hour Party People for Sarah to watch while I checked out the different titles available. It’s pretty cool. We definitely don’t have stuff like that in Canada.

                After our movie ended we continued walking down the South Bank before eventually reaching the Globe shortly after 5:00pm. Our show wasn’t until 7:30pm but we were both fairly hungry so we started looking around for a place to eat. We first checked the menu at The Swan (www.loveswan.co.uk), which is the restaurant attached to The Globe. It looked pretty tasty and smelled delicious but we had time to debate our options so we continued down the sidewalk. We didn’t find anything that seemed as appetizing as The Swan so we quickly returned. We were a little disappointed initially to find that the menu they had shown us was not available if you were attending the play. We had to order off of a pre-set three course pre-theater menu. We decided to just go for it and definitely did not regret it! For our starters Sarah had pea soup (which I did not try because ew) and I had some salmon with bread and pickles. I don’t usually eat salmon but I thought it sounded the best out of the options. For our main Sarah picked her selection solely based on the fact she felt like eating broccoli. It ended up being served alongside some kind of fish. I tried a piece of it and it was actually really good! I had macaroni and cheese, which sounds childish but I have found that macaroni over here is delicious. It was served alongside a salad that was bitter and somehow very addicting. For desert Sarah had a strawberry something and I had chocolate mousse. It was such a large serving of something so rich it made it a little less enjoyable than the rest of the meal had been.

                Overall dinner was amazing, though, and we had a great time. The restaurant is situated right on the Thames and from my seat I could see St. Paul’s Cathedral and the bridge from Harry Potter. I ordered a half-bottle serving of wine so as to avoid having to order by the glass and save some money and Sarah and I laughed at how the waiter poured two glasses. Because I am so Canadian I didn’t want to bother him so I just took turns drinking out of both. It was pretty funny. We also enjoyed eavesdropping on our table neighbor, who we nicknamed Dr. Shakespeare. He decided to give a complete synopsis of the play we were about to see to his dinner companions while adding his own personal tidbits of (false) information. Seriously, I studied Shakespeare. He was so wrong.

                We still had some time before the show so we went and grabbed our tickets from the box office before it got busy and had a drink outside while we watched the sun go down. For our drink we went to the outdoor section of The Swan, which is only for ticketholders, as it has direct access to the theatre. It was a really cool set up in the courtyard. They have it themed like the theatre would be in Shakespeare’s day, with cleverly named substitutes for burgers and beer. It kind of reminded me of A Knight’s Tale, to be honest.

                Ten minutes before the show they opened the doors and let us in. The show we were seeing (Sarah’s first at the venue) was Titus Andronicus. It is one of the few Shakespeare plays I have not read or seen some version of. We always knew we wanted to see a show at The Globe, sooner rather than later. When posters advertising the production made comparisons to Quentin Tarantino films, it peaked out interest. We still neglected to buy tickets, however, until after the show opened last weekend and it made the news because audience members kept fainting. Because that is what seals the deal for us. I have seen a play here before, Henry VIII, several years ago. I got standing tickets for that show. It’s a cool idea. Basically, because poor people in Shakespeare’s day stood in the center of the theater, they sell really cheap tickets if you feel like standing. I’ve done it once and I really don’t need to do it again. Standing for three hours or more is hard work and even if you can do it, it’s still in the back of your mind that your legs are getting cramped and tired. For a sold out show they put nine hundred people in the standing area. Sorry, but I will pay the extra £10 to sit. Which is what we did. We were right on the side of the stage, in seats referred to as ‘restricted view’. The thing about The Globe, though, is that all the seats are restricted view in some way or another, because it’s almost a complete circle. You will never be able to see the full action. In our case, there was a pole holding up the roof of the stage that was in our way sometimes. Not a big deal.

                The story of Titus Andronicus is not one of Shakespeare’s best. I like my tragedies with some substance, personally. Titus Andronicus returns from war with a former queen who marries the Roman emperor. She’s basically the devil and her sons rape Titus Andronicus’ daughter and cut off her hands and cut out her tongue. Titus Andronicus decides to get revenge but cuts off his hand because that’s apparently helpful. There’s also a black guy who is having an affair with the psycho queen. And a bunch of people die at the end in a scene that definitely can be described as Tarantino-esque. Mostly because there’s dancing involved in the murder. All it really needed was Stuck in the Middle With You. That’s what I would have done. But we weren’t really expecting substance (I’ll save that for Hamlet). We did have four people faint in the audience so we got what we came for. I think North Americans must be really desensitized to violence, though, because Sarah and I didn’t even bat an eye at the parts that made people faint. I didn’t even realize people had fainted because it seemed so tame compared to what I was expecting.

                Side Note: When the show ends all the dead people get up and do a dance. Seriously. Slumdog Millionaire style. Fortunately Sarah and I knew about it because they told us on our tour of the Globe last month. Apparently it is done because, in olden times, people were really upset. And if people were upset they wouldn’t recommend the play to their friends. So it had to end on a happy note, even if everyone was dead.

 It was still a fun experience, though.  I think this is when it finally hit us how awesome London is. Where else in the world can you see an Ed Sheeran Secret Show for £6 on a Monday afternoon and the next evening see Titus Andronicus performed in an exact replica of Shakespeare’s Globe?