Movin' on Up?

                So Thursday last week was a BAD DAY. If you ever decide to pick up everything and move away from everyone and everything you know, you will have many BAD DAYS. I definitely have in the last three months. I mean, everybody keeps living their lives without you, your pets die (which you will never get over, by the way), and then there’s the whole money thing. Oh, the money thing. Being an adult is so hard. Nobody ever tells you that. Well, they do, but you don’t listen. Because you’re taught from everyone from people older than you to your school that you will be successful right away. Guess what? Not the case. Especially when you move to a new country. In Canada, you go to school and then you get a job. That’s how it works. But the UK places emphasis on work experience, not your education. I may have spent 5.5 years in university. I could re-enact the Cold War and have the Soviet Union win. Hell, I could probably have found Bin Laden. But as far as England is concerned, no work experience means no job. It’s been a stressful few months. I’ve had to do work I’ve never wanted to do. I made it twenty-three years without doing such work. But you can’ just sit around doing nothing.

                At the beginning of this month I registered with an agency that specializes in providing admin and reception work. Not great, but not hospitality at least. The interview went well (because I give good interview) and I was super optimistic. They implied that I’d be working every once and awhile, but for a week or two at a time, so I planned on using that money for rent and expenses and my money with my current job (which I would do evenings and weekends) for fun money. As with most things in life, it didn’t pan out like that. I didn’t hear one word from them, even when I tried to contact them. I pretty much gave up all hope and continued my fruitless job hunt.

                The last two weeks were hard. Really hard. I had shifts cancelled left and right. I was always waiting until the last moment before I’d be confirmed for work. I could only depend on one of the operations managers (a perk is being ‘favorited’ by a company or manager so that you can see those shifts and think ‘at least I’m guaranteed some hours this week’). It’s just not fun. You’re looking at your bank account multiple times a day, trying to calculate what you need to get you to the next payday, where most of your money will inevitably go to bills before you even hit Monday. I’d had several stressful days over the last couple weeks, usually caused by cancelled shifts. But on Thursday, it was because I was realizing I was about to get back-to-back tiny paychecks. And you can’t pay rent on tiny paychecks. You can’t save tiny paychecks. I had all these high expectations for myself and I felt like I was falling short on every one. So on Thursday, my mother told me if things didn’t get more regular I may have to come back to Calgary. I would hate that. I would feel like a failure. So just the mention of it got me even more upset. I had to go to work and I was still all emotional the entire way there.

                Then, something crazy happened. I was waiting with my co-workers outside the venue when my phone went off. It was someone from this agency I’d interviewed with a month ago. She told me she was recruiting for a position. It pays more and it’s full-time hours. Unfortunately, it’s also something called ‘temp-to-perm’, which basically means I work week-to-week and maybe one day they’ll offer me a permanent contract. But it’s definitely better than what I’ve been doing and is at least more secure for the time being. The recruiter called back awhile later to tell me they wanted me, and that I would start Monday. This could not have come at a better time, truly. Funny how things work out that way.

                So today I started this job. I was nervous. I barely slept last night. Sarah and I tried to have a relaxing evening yesterday watching Gossip Girl and not thinking about it but it was unavoidable. I had no idea what to expect. It wasn’t like I’d had an interview or anything. I had Googled the company, because that’s what you’re supposed to do, but that doesn’t tell you if the people are going to be nice, or if it’s hard work. I tried to go to bed early but I didn’t fall asleep until at least 1:30am. From there I woke up every hour and tossed and turned all night. I had to be there for 9:30am (usually 9am but because it was my first day I was meant to start later so they’d be set up and ready to go for the day) so I woke up at 6:50am because I overbudget for travel time. I slept in an extra ten minutes and I was still ready to go thirty minutes early. Which I actually liked. I was able to watch some TV and calm myself down a bit before heading out. The night before I went from being fine to getting more and more nervous the later it got. This morning I was nervous but also excited. This was to be my first office job. My first job without a uniform. A totally new experience.

                I arrived at the location half an hour early, as I’d planned. I waited outside the entrance for a bit. I noticed people had to enter a code to get through the gate. At which point, of course, your brain goes ‘oh, crap.’ I had no clue where I was supposed to go so I snuck in behind some people only to find myself in a courtyard with still no idea where to go. I saw a stairwell that people were using keycards to get up. I had no idea what else to do so I called the company. So awkward. Turns out I went through the wrong entrance and one of the employees came out to rescue me. Fortunately, the guy at the desk next to me apparently did the same thing his first day. It’s a logical mistake to make…Screw you, Google Maps.

                The training went fairly well I think and everyone seemed really nice. They all know each other better than they know me, but that’s to be expected. They were still very friendly. I found out most of them started as temps before moving into a permanent position at this company so that bodes well, fingers crossed. It’s weird, working in an office for the first time. I have a desk and a computer. There’s a kitchen. Like, an actual kitchen. With not just a freezer and a microwave but an oven. People literally cook themselves chicken up there for lunch. There’s also a staff room with a TV and books and a guitar (!!!). And you get a lunch break. That lasts an hour. What is this nonsense? I don’t think I’ve ever had an actual lunchbreak. It’s always been more like ‘go cram food down your throat while you have a chance’. And the job is 9:00am to 5:00pm. Like real people! I might actually be able to go out and do stuff!

                I was back home by 6:15pm. It was crazy. Sarah and I went to the library so I could pick up some more books. Then I made us gnocchi for dinner and we sat on the floor (we still don’t have furniture) and watched – you guessed it – Gossip Girl. I actually felt like an adult today. I’m not out of the woods yet, by any means. My current job is by no means assured. I’m still going to be a hobo for at least the next three weeks.  But it’s something and it came along right when I needed something to make me feel better about my life choices. We’ll see how I adjust to this new development.